March 3rd, 2010 | 
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Denial was a way of life. I became more and more unrelatable to my wife and my two kids. Alcohol is only one escape from life. There are many others. Food was one of mine. My divorce was a real wake up call. I nearly lost my job and everything else in my life without dealing with my problems, but when I lost my family, well, that was something that really got to me.I got into therapy and began to deal with all the things going on inside my head. But I still wasn't into relationships. Too many wounds, many self inflicted, had left my heart encased in some pretty tough scar tissue. That's why I hesitated a little before saying yes to Lisa's invitation.
"Sure. Sounds great. I'll meet you in the lobby in 15 minutes."
Cut to a Perkins. Any Perkins. They all look pretty much the same. A freshly showered couple sits in a booth at the back of the resturant. Small talk ensues.
"You said you knew why I took your class," I said, by way of transition to the real reason we were here, "What did you mean by that?"
"You're trying to prove something to yourself. Recover your lost manhood. Go back to the time when you were young and in shape. You felt better then. You want to recapture that."
"I've lost my manhood, eh? What makes you think so?"
"I know who you are. My sister took a college course from you once, which may explain why you said I look familiar to you, though you couldn't place me. I know a little bit about what's been going on in your life. Your divorce, for instance."
"I'd be careful with that if I were you. It's still a touchy subject for me." I gave her a moment to digest that. "So I want to recapture my youth. I didn't think 40 was all that old, compared let's say, to 80. Let's assume for the moment that you are right. So what."
"It's the wrong reason for you to be in the class. You don't belong in this group anyway - - I checked at the desk and they put you in this class by mistake - - you should be doing lower impact aerobics until you work yourself back into some sort of shape."
"So, what would you consider a good reason for me to take your class?"
"Because you want to sleep with the instructor."
She said it with a straight face. I'm sure my chin dropped all the way to my chest before I recovered my composure. I started to laugh, thinking that she was joking, and was cut off in mid gufaw by the serious look on her face.
"You're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not. There's only one way you're going to get through this class, John, and I'm telling you what it is. You're
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