March 3rd, 2010 | 
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going to have to believe that when it's all over, there's going to be a reward.""I'm a little confused." Wow, what a master of understatement.
She smiled. I'm sure that I was red as a beet. I was embarassed and very close to getting angry with her. If this was some sort of elaborate tease, it was a cruel one for sure.
"That's true enough. Most men are. Tell me, how long has it been since you felt attractive?"
Well. That certainly caught me by surprise. To be honest, I don't know if I've ever felt attractive. Not physically anyway. Growing up I had some real conflicting needs - - the need for attention, yet wanting to blend in to the background. I wanted people to be close to, but I wouldn't let them in. That's probably why my marriage failed - - my wife could never get inside of my head because I wouldn't let her. Some sort of trust thing. Well, anyway, I had to come up with some sort of answer....
"A while." Wow, another pithy comment.
"I thought so. Did you know that when you were my sister's teacher in college that she had the hots for you something fierce?"
"No way!" I remember my ex-wife warning me about all the coeds who would get the hots for me and try to 'make the grade' so to speak. I used to laugh, point at myself, and say, "Yeah, right. Just look at me, Joe Stud."
"She did. She used to tell me about it all the time. The only reasons she didn't hit on you then were that you were married at the time and she knew what kind of negative effect teacher-student relationships can have on faculty members. But she used to tell me her fantasies, and believe me, she was hot for you. By the way, if you ever tell her I told you this, I'll kill you."
"That's incredible. But what's the point?"
"The point, John, is that you are trying to make yourself physically appealing because that's what you think all women want. And the reason you think that way is that that's what men look for in a woman. Admit it. If I were 40 pounds overweight you and I would not be having this conversation would we?"
"If you were 40 pounds overweight, you wouldn't be an aerobics instructor, either, but yes, I guess you're right. So?"
"Some women are turned on by a man's personality, believe it or not, and can even overlook some pretty major physical flaws. Ever wonder why Christie Brinkley married Billy Joel?"
"So, are you trying to tell me that I turn you on, somehow, right now even though I look more like Dom Deluise than Burt Reynolds?"
"Not quite. But my sister and I are a lot alike. I
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